MustContainOnlyLetters

Dear Mom,

I hope all is okay at home. Work here is boring as ever. But I am saving up to start school again in the fall. If there's enough overtime this month I could even take a night class at the community college this summer.

Last week I bought a new blouse. I think you'd like it. It has an abstract pattern of colors swirled together. It reminds me of the garden you had in New York when we lived there.

Anyway, my lunch hour is nearly up so I'd better close for now. I'll mail this on my way home.

Give my love to Uncle Rupert and kiss baby Sue for me.

your loving daughter,
Marie

Sorry.

That should have been:


abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz


Obviously.





Except that


a-b-c-d-e-f-g-h-i-j-k-l-m-n-o-p-q-r-s-t-u-v-w-x-y-z


might have been acceptable also.

Dear John,

I'm sure you've been expecting this letter for some time now. We've been drifting apart slowly but surely. You'd rather go bowling with your buddies on Saturday night and frankly I'd rather wash my hair.

It was fun while it lasted. Have a good life.

Marsha

What about:

alphabetagammadeltaepsilonzetaetathetaiotakappalamdamunuxiomicronpirhosigmatauupsilonphichipsiomega

?

Or:

alpha-beta-gamma-delta-epsilon-zeta-eta-theta-iota-kappa-lamda-mu-nu-xi-omicron-pi-rho-sigma-tau-upsilon-phi-chi-psi-omega

?

Imagine yourself sitting in a hotel -dining- room together with your family or partner. And suddenly the owner of the first class hotel comes to your table and tells you that a postillion riding a horse, wearing an old unform (18th century) just arrived to bring a letter to you.
The Manager is out of mind. You can hear him murmur: I would never have believed that a thing like that was going to happen! It's impressing, the medias will give a report, I'm going to call
BBC. The other guests you can hear mumuring and see them watching you, but trying to behave as if they hadn'nt noticed anything- And you, you get up qiet slowly and a little bored, to receive your letter, you behave as if this happened to you everyday.Wouldn'nt that be fun?

If MustContainOnlyLetters were a film and they made the sequel – MustContainOnlyLetters 2: The Numeral's Revenge, or some such, then any records that specified they must contain only letters would be entirely unsuitable for containing the title of the follow-up film. On the other hand, it probably wouldn't be as good as the original anyway, so perhaps this would be all to the good in the overall database-of-film-titles-scheme-of-things.